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Hey, I'm supposed to be an independent, self-publishing fiction writer through my Samizdat Publications and yet selling my first published books had became difficult despite the good story quality and affordability of these. I think that I'll be returning soon to that search for a publishing company like I did in the past and so I must lay down my "pride" for my other unpublished manuscripts. I hope that I'll find a just and humane publisher who is open-minded to give chance to aspiring fiction writers like me, support Philippine literature and renewed interest in reading books, and without the attitude of treating the publishing industry as just some business gamble.

SOLILOQUY According to Webster’s Dictionary, soliloquy (so-lil-o-kwi) n. /plural soliloquies/ is the act of speaking one’s thoughts aloud in solitude; a speech in a play through which a character reveals his/ her thoughts to the audience, but not to any of the other characters, by voicing them aloud , usually in solitude. (derived from Latin soliloquium “to speak alone”). Grolier International Dictionary defines soliloquy as a literary or dramatic form of discourse in which a character talks to himself/ herself or reveals his/her thoughts in the form of a monologue without addressing a listener; the act of speaking to oneself in or as in solitude.

ANNOUNCEMENT: PLEASE CHECK OUT MY WATTPAD SITE- https://www.wattpad.com/user/weirdjtt




Saturday, December 24, 2011

Siberian-chilled Northeast Monsoon

December 8, Feast of the Immaculate Conception. At unang anibersaryo ng aking career sa Villamor Air Base Elementary School (VABES). The usual but already established cliché na ‘parang kailan lang’ echoing Pinoy folk singer Florante’s hit song. The following pictures are the views in an area called “Piccio Garden” (so-called because it was once a vast vegetable garden owned by retired PAF General Piccio many decades ago). Located between the Magallanes Village, the polluted but flowing creek and Villamor Golf Club. Doon nga pala sa unang address ng VABES, Pasay City South High School (PCSHS), at Philippine State College of Aeronautics (PHILSCA), mga condo na ang nakatayo doon; sa dating lote ng VABES, ang kapalit lang pala ng isang matagal nang learning institution na naghahatid ng tanglaw ng edukasyon sa kabataang Pilipino ay yaong istruktura na base sa mga naglalakihan nitong tarpaulin (Manlunas side), nakatakda pala itong maging ‘entertainment and gimmick spot’ (I don’t even find the building’s name attractive). Vices, worldly pleasures, and vanities galore... wala na talaga ang dating Villamor Air Base na nakagisnan. Oh, those darn, sugarcoated economic promises by all those people na nagsabwatan kaya nagkaganito ang aming pamayanan.
*at the right side of this picture, one of the buildings of Pasay City South High School
*the two school buildings- the harsh realities behind the pastel colors: ayon sa ilang engineers na sumuri dito, meron umanong questionable structural integrity; ayon naman sa nakararami, lalo na sa mga estudyante at mga magulang nila, inconvenient location plus the gigantic posts holding the high tension wires (boon only for those who will directly benefit from it while bane for Villamor residents nang sapilitan ba naman itong itinayo sa residential areas)


*the zigzag road linking these isolated schools and a Maynilad pumping station to the Nichols Exit, the Villamor Golf Club, and Villamor Air Base residential areas.
Hoy, yung ibang graduates diyan ng tatlong eskwelahang binanggit dito, naaalala niyo pa ba na minsan ay naging napakahalagang bahagi ng inyong kabataan ang mga iyon?

*the blue building over the horizon is the Philippine State College of Aeronautics, the last to give in to the demands of that corporation and a government agency; only the St. Therese Parish (now a Shrine), the Tower (despite the annoying makeover that those people did to it), and a few number of trees made it to survive the clutches of the so-called ‘development’.
***
The night of December 10. Ang daming kariktan na aking nasilayan. Sa gabing iyon ay naganap ang total lunar eclipse na bagamat nagbabadya ang mga ulap ay nagpakita pa rin ang namumulang buwan at sumakit ang batok ko sa aking pagtingala. Tamang-tama at meron pang telecast ng Victoria's Secret annual show sa Velvet channel. Kahit na ang layo nung tsiks, nasasamyo ko na ang matatamis na halimuyak at kinis at lambot ng kutis, hehe... they never fail to mesmerize their audience lalo na nung nagtanghal ang Maroon 5 (but without Christina Aguilera) ng kanilang hit song na "Moves Like Jagger".
***
Minsan, nanaginip ako na naglalaro raw ako ng Nintendo Family Computer (‘90s na ‘90s, ano?) at Street Fighter pa ang game (para bang noong isang araw lamang ay napanood ko sa Star Movies ang 1994 action film na “Street Fighter” starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and the late Raul Julia). Ang aking pambato ay si Ken at katunggali niya si Ryu. Tuwang-tuwa ako noon at alam na alam ko kung paano ang fighting techniques tulad ng Axe Kick, Uppercut combo, Hadoken, pati Hurricane Kicks. Hehe, panaginip. At nabasa ko noon pa na ang pananaginip ay dulot daw ng subconscious area ng utak (at lalo ko rin itong naintindihan nang napanood ko ang pelikulang “Vanilla Sky”) . Isa raw yun mahiwagang bahagi ng isipan kung saan nakaimbak ang lahat ng mga alaala, saloobin, kahilingan, ideya o persepsyon na apparently nalimutan na ngunit muling nagkakaroong encore o pagpaparamdam sa oras ng pananaginip, in a deep REM sleep. Isang simpleng panaginip pero ewan ko ba’t ayaw ko yun isantabi. I-project ko sa kasalukuyan. May ipon naman akong salapi pero never ko itong gagastusin sa mga PSP na kahit kailan ay hindi pa ako nakakapaglaro nito. Pati mga computer games at apps, lalo na yung mga nauuso ngayon, ay hindi ko pinaglalaanan ng oras. Basta, wala akong interes sa mga ito. Wala talaga. Rather cold than cool. Going back sa Street Fighter dream, pinaalala marahil ng aking subconscious na noon ay hinangad ko rin na makapaglaro nito. Ah, ang nakaraan... maraming bagay sa nakaraan, hindi lang ang video games. Meron naman akong nabasa na may ilang kaganapan mula sa nakaraan ang nagdudulot ng mabibigat na epekto sa kasalukuyan and it’s not that easy to let go and just move on nang ganun-ganoon na lamang. Pardon me for being this nostalgic and expressing myself with these ambiguous, strange statements.
Patuloy kaya ang aking subconscious sa pagpapaalala paminsan-minsan? Naalala ko kasi na maraming naipagkait sa akin noon. Ako ay palaging naisasantabi, nababalewala, eh. Damn, do I have some issues and in need of counselling? By the way, madalas din na ang napanaginipan ay kabaligtaran ng tunay na pangyayari. Sapagkat kahit kailan ay hindi pa ako nakakapaglaro ng Street Fighter kahit sa mga arcade noon. Walang pangggastos para sa mga game tokens. At hindi naman talaga ako nakapaglaro ng Nintendo Family Computer.
***
Panahon na ng Kapaskuhan. Humirit pa si Sendong at tunay nga ang mga babala ng PAGASA na sa panahon ng hanging Amihan o Northeast Monsoon, mas malupit ang bagyong sasapit sa bansa, hindi sa mababangis na hangin kundi sa mga rumaragasang baha. At ang hindi pa inaasahan na pinakanaapektuhan ay yaong mga pook na bihirang masalanta ng masusungit na panahon. Paulit-ulit na ipinakikita sa TV at mga dyaryo ang lawak ng trahedya. Hindi talaga sapat ang pulos awa na lang na nadarama habang pinagmamasdan ang mga ganoong tagpo.
Panahon ng Kapaskuhan. Naglipana ang mga taong namamasko at yung ilan ay hindi plastik upang iparamdam na hindi raw magiging masaya ang kanilang Pasko kung wala silang natanggap na regalo o nakubrang salapi. Ewan ko nga ba at ang hirap nang ma-distinguish kung sino nga ba ang tunay na nangangailangan sa nagpapanggap lamang. Although naging isa sa mga prinsipyo ko na itong hindi na pagpapabatid sa madla ng mga mabuting nagawa sa kapwa, alinsunod sa isang pangaral ng Panginoon, siguro kahit papaano ay ma-express ko naman ang tungkol sa isang little but significant Christmas act kaya ang Pasko ay Pasko nga. Hindi ako isang pilantropo o tunay na mapagkawanggawa ngunit bakit hindi ko pakinggan yung mga panawagan sa TV? Sa GMA Kapuso Foundation sa pamamagitan ng Cebuana Lhuillier. Ang aking handog? Secret... mga detalyeng sa Panginoon na lamang.
Tuluy na tuloy pa rin naman ang Pasko. Noong isang hapon nga lamang, araw ng winter solstice, napagmasdan ko sa kanlurang dako habang takipsilim pa ang isang kahalintulad ng majestic painting na ito ng American artist (Hudson River School of Landscape Painters) na si Frederick Edwin Church na “Twilight in the Wilderness” (1860). What a romantic sight to behold that brought a blissful feeling. (picture courtesy of Wikipedia)

***
Gallery of December memories



St. Pancratius Chapel,a night in Paco Park- after the wedding reception of our friends that we had attended last December 20; eerie picture yet once you step foot in the historic park and former cemetery and feel the gigantic trees around you with the said chapel as silent sentinels and eyewitnesses to Manila's long history, it feels so serene as if time had stopped in this circular beauty of a park.
Kids' party last December 19- sino yung weirdo na napalilibutan ng mga paslit? Ang tatak pa ng t-shirt ay Red Hot Chili Peppers!

MALIGAYANG PASKO AT MASAGANANG BAGONG TAON!
(Giotto di Bondone's Adoration of the Magi; courtesy of Google images)
sana, next year ay maipalimbag ko na't mailathala ang aking mga akda :)