Starfields

UPDATE! April 5, 2023

I had just received a notification from Blogger that this page which I gave the title "Starfields" more than a decade ago had been flagged for alleged sensitive contents, was it because I expressed my opinion on some political issues from way, way back in 2009? What?! They could have overreacted that much! How could they? Or better yet, I must save a copy of this long essay before they and Google take it down for whimsical reasons.

(Milky Way galaxy courtesy of Wikipedia and Brocken inaglory)

TESERRAE FOR A MOSAIC (this essay was first posted on February 2009)

(Again, this is a moment for freedom of expression. I won't forget that we are of different views, paths, and perspectives and I would like to thank you, dear readers, for understanding. I won't reiterate here some statements because I already expressed those as introduction in a previous blog entry called "A Faithful Apostle Called St. Jude". Here, I don't want to be didactic because I don't want to didactic. I don't want to appear preachy, for pete's sake. Just as I said, this is a basic constitutional right of freedom of expression.)

"Do you think that I came to bring peace on this world? No, I came rather with a sword. I have come to set a man against his father and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A man's worst enemies will be right in his own home! If you love your father and mother more than you love Me, you are not worthy of being mine. Or if you love your son or daughter more than you love Me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you refuse to take up your cross and follow Me, you are not worthy of being mine. " (Matthew 10:34-38)

Disturbing words if taken literally, right? As I ponder on these words, I see a lot of pictures with occasional extremities in my mind as well. Of a promising young man with a bright future ahead of him decided one day to become a Trappist monk to the dismay of his family and friends. Or a girl who entered a religious affiliation other than that of which her family belonged without being proselytized but believing that it was a grace from above. I had read in an encyclopedia article that Hugh Hefner was of strict Methodist upbringing when he was younger and after leaving his house, he established his Playboy mansion. Well, how about that? Hmmm, how about Aleister Crowley? It was noted that he had zealous Christian parents in England before establishing his pagan religion and stayed heathen since then. Visions of religious wars from the Reformation to the present and the battlefields are in the television, the Internet, and other mass media airing endless crusades because of differences in faith or Bible exegesis and other scriptural interpretation while all the non-believers and anti-established religion advocates and secular Europeans just care for a loud laugh at the fiery, fanatical passions of both sides as they see it. 'False prophets' accusations, chosen people mentality, guaranteed and exclusive salvation and monopolies on who's in the right track and then those who don't belong to the flock are already on the road to perdition unless they join the select few. Like that having the attitude of " I am on the right path, you're not". And not to forget some relatives of mine who claim enlightenment when they leave the old house and then hurl back their criticism against the faith which our clan had grown up to and still loves. Our Lord's sword... so sharp to cause division. Just as I said, disturbing if taken literally. Why? Asking why for the nth time... but with an open heart, it is not disturbing at all. It is not on the name of the religion a believer belongs to. Simply, offering this 'first place' in our hearts and our lives just for Him. People will come and go... but He remains and here to stay for us.

Jesus as the cause of division? For some patriotic Israelis, yes. Well, I had read a past issue in Father Bel's column in the Manila Bulletin about a pilgrimage to the Holy Land and I learned that when you enter in certain Jewish sites there and your tour guide happens to be a patriotic Israeli, there is a rule: thou shall not mention the name of Jesus Christ. Perhaps some pilgrims might have the same thoughts about that. The solemn Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem looks just like any busy market place now. But still, the government in the Holy Land should not deny that Jesus Christ continues to help them in their income and revenue from all these hordes and flocks of pilgrims and tourists flooding the country. But spare that earnings from financing their war against the ‘enemies’ of the Jewish state .

Concentration. It had been told that St. Peter almost drowned in the Sea of Galilee because of his scarred concentration in his faith to the Lord. He let the rough waves and the threatening gale to distract him and it was an allegory indeed. An allegory to remind us that living our life is like sailing on a boat in the open sea. The sea that is of great, matchless beauty when there is calmness in the sky and beyond the horizon yet terribly perilous brought about by the tempests and storms. There in the distance, we see Him, unshaken whatever the weather may be and we are traveling towards Him. However, there are so many trials, obstacles, and hindrances. Treacherous waves and gales lash out our boat and we then realize that any moment now, we will sink to the cold abyss or be taken away from Him. And there are ferocious monsters of the deep. Of hungry sharks lurking beneath the waves and poisonous jellyfishes, too. We are losing hope yet He told us "It is I. Do not be afraid". Just hold on and don't lose grip at the oars and before we know it, we are already near Him and the tranquility of the skies and the sea will return. And I can't help imagining about some people who set sail on the open sea but lose the will to continue. Because of the dangers brought about by the unpredictability of weather and and the sea, they no longer persist to go on out of fear or rather decision not to gamble and waste their time. Some fell to the sea and drowned or got eaten by sharks. They remained in the latter's belly and some of them thought that if would be better if they become a part of these beasts whom they also offer their help to find more victims to devour and join them there. What about them? Is there any hope that they will resume in their travel back to the Lord?

I had actually contemplated about this website forum about the top 10 least religious countries in the world and also read about 'atheism' in the encyclopedia. Great thinkers like Freud, Schopenhauer, Sartre, and among others were so vocal and united in their criticism and battle cry that religion is just a delusion. An opium addiction that should be suppressed, as Marx said of it. Even to this day, some people share the same views. Probably because their lives and their so-called knowledge had already reached astronomical limits; gone too far? They have been hitting believers and in sarcasm, jeer at the fanaticism and delusion they see in these people. Non-believers always believe that a human being has every right to gain perfect freedom and religious bounds are inhuman hindrances to that ultimate goal in life. Illusory walls that keep an individual from attaining his or her real self-worth in life, as well. Or perhaps... the real delusion is hmmm, these beliefs that atheists have been fighting for and their thoughts about their fellow human beings whom they view as blindfolded followers of faith. They can be the slaves of their own delusions and not those people whom they see as helpless creatures of religion. Is there really a dual nature as the positive and the negative? If one has to believe in, is there such an unavoidable danger or threat brought about by an impending delusion while going and moving on the path of this lifelong search towards the truth? Well, quoting the words ofTom Hanks’s character in “The Da Vinci Code”, Robert Langdon, “... what matters most is what you believe in...”.

I am not this religious but I really appreciate and understand a simple yet loving expression of faith. It is a need, not a want or impulse. A need because it is a need. I am referring to a circular string of prayer beads called the rosary and I feel a call to hold it once more in my hands. Actually, I avoided the rosary in the past even though I studied in two Catholic institutions when I was in high school. I did not want to join in praying that used the rosary and my beliefs about this deepened when I had read a certain passage in the Gospel according to St. Matthew 6:7- the Lord had said " When you pray, do not use repetitions like pagans do who believed that the more words they express, the bigger chance they will be heard". Naturally, this becomes the solid and fundamental Biblical basis of people who object to and criticize the rosary as a vain and repetitive prayer. I claimed to myself that I was 'enlightened' to not to pray the rosary. It took almost half an hour and reciting the prayers over and over again made me sleepy or bored. However, years passed by. Why was it that whenever I overheard some people who branded the rosary as a perversion or when I reminisced about some Grade 6 moments in the past where our teacher made sarcastic commentaries on this solemn, Catholic expression, I felt uncomfortable. I felt that something in my own self got hurt. It seemed to be that I am longing for something from the past. And I realized that I was slowly returning and coming back for it especially that I had entered a time where my mind is already mature enough and open to that mysterious aura of a rosary. I don't need a dissecting explanation for it but to understand and feel its essence while in deep meditation as in rejuvenation of spiritual nourishment. A lot of people and friends and including those critics had inspired me to cherish the rosary again and I’m ever grateful to them. I already mentioned about the following statements in the past blog "A Faithful Apostle Called St. Jude". I had brought two issues of thin but heavy and loaded with satisfying contents of the magazine "Know the Truth" by Father Paul Kaiparambadan in the St. Pauls booth during the 2008 Book Fair at the SMX. Let me quote some statements there: "the Bible uses repetition to indicate emphasis and the highest degree of something (p. 10). Several Bible passages were mentioned like Is 6:3, the Psalms, 2 Cor 12:8, and a lot more and the reference is the King James Version itself. The Mt 6:7 really do spark different interpretations from understanding it. It may be literal, fundamental, straight to the point... like I did in the past. But for Father Paul, "the Lord is talking about what the Bible constantly talks about doing things from your heart. It obviously doesn't matter how much a phrase or a prayer is repeated, for it is your heart that counts. If the prayer is not from the heart, it becomes 'vain repetition'. If you pray from the heart (Rom 2:29, 1 Sm 16:7) and are seeking righteousness (James 5:16), that is what counts. The Lord's focus on His instruction about praying is against the 'vain' way and not the repetition and no one can force the Hand of God by the sheer number of prayers."

I have found the name "J. Neville Ward" and his book "Five for Sorrow, Ten for Joy" which always serves as the source or bibliography for the encyclopedia article about the rosary. In the magazine "Know the Truth", I was surprised to know that he's a Methodist. How ironic that a Protestant has the great depth of understanding for the rosary than some Catholics do (and those people who only wear this prayer beads like some fashion accessory!). It's not only Catholics who have prayer beads but also Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists. So the rosary at the Battle of Lepanto was held with importance by both sides, wasn't it? Whenever I pray the rosary in my hands, I do not notice the passing of time. I don't mind how long it had been or the length of the prayers and meditations here. I don't get weary or tired. While contemplating on every mystery like a Buddhist monk in solemn mantra chanting, it is also like a formal Bible study. As if I travel back in time to those days while reflecting in my heart about the Word of the Lord, His life here on Earth, and His love for His Blessed Mother as He loves us. I feel a calming, soothing inner peace. Tranquility. A mysterious feeling that I can not explain rationally or scientifically yet poetry springs forth from it, like that I am gently floating on the soft, calm sea under the moonlit, starry sky. I pray alone inside my room (or I may have a companion if ever there is a spirit who happens to pass by and joins me in prayer before bidding farewell). The Lord had told us that when we pray, let's go to our room and talk to our Father in secret (Mt.6:6). As I had already said before, in deep meditation, this spiritual nourishment rejuvenates and envigorates and blossoming like the flowers in the meadows and gardens. A lot of people (including some Catholics themselves) still continue to criticize the tradition called the rosary and even use the Bible which they claim to be the torch or lamp post whose blazing light is to defeat the darkness brought about by superstition or perversion that they cast on this prayer beads. We live in a democratic society and everyone is entitled to their own paths, perspectives, and views, right? But here... behold, the rosary continues to endure to anyone who holds it with care and treasures it with love.

CHRISTMAS LANTERN, AMIHAN BREEZE AND THE WINTER SOLSTICE (this essay was firts posted on December 2009)

Nasa ilalim ang impiyerno... nasa gitna ang paraiso... nasa itaas ang purgatoryo... BIBINGKA

Parang kailan lang nang inoobserbahan ko ang summer solstice noong Hunyo, a (what's so mystifying about the solstices and equinoxes that every Druid of long ago in Stonehenge held them so dearly?). Siguro nga na sa malalamig na bansa, ang winter solstice ay heavy reminder of the barrenness and biting cold of the season. Kahit naman dito sa ating bansa kung saan tropikal ang klima, we also share in the winter solstice... because we all live in the same planet! Medyo malamlam ang liwanag ng araw ngayon na kahit magbilad ako sa tanghaling-tapat ay hindi ako pinagpapawisan. Daily temperatures usually fall below 30 degrees celsius and keeps on dropping the mercury as evenings go by. Wala man snow dito but the chilly kiss of the amihan breeze tells a lot of tidings as I look up at the sun of the winter solstice that makes those Christmas lanterns sparkle in soft daylight.

2009. A memorable year just like the past years. Year after year, we can say that the year we have is a memorable year. Gusto ko pa rin mapanood ang mga yearend reports at saka yung listahan ng mga nagkatotoo umano na mga prediksyon noong Disyembre ng nakaraang taon. Parang may natandaan ako na may nag-forecast ng isang sasabog na sex scandal in mid-2009 at magiging malaking isyu daw ito. Tapos, mas malalakas na bagyo at baha. At saka, mga panibagong gulo at giyera na mas masalimuot pa kaysa noon. At ang pamamaalam ng isang high profile na tao (si Cory). Hehe, habit-forming na nga ang ganitong pang-uusyoso, paniwalaan man o hindi. At ano naman kaya ang mga prediksyon para sa 2010 lalo pa't may eleksyon plus sagupaang Pacquiao at Mayweather?

So this is Christmas; and what have you done?

Montage of events. High tension wire controversy dito sa aming barangay at pararaanin sana ang mapapanganib na wire na walang pakinabang sa mga taga-Villamor (at yung ibang residente ay parang wala lang... walang pakialam!). Nakabangon naman ang pangkalahatan sa mga nabiktima ng malalakas na bagyo. O, yung ibang pulitiko diyan, ang aga-aga pa para mangampanya, ano? Disyembre na sana ngayon pero talagang naroo pa rin ang radiation mula sa isang pagsabog. The aftermath of the horrific Maguindanao massacre. at lalong sumikat ang Ampatuan clan sa buong sambayanang Pilipino. Siguro, maayos na maayos ang pamumuhay doon sa Maguindanao noong panahon ni Sultan Kudarat (except for the scattered Moro pirates). Ang lupang pinangako (hindi na ba marami ang mga nagsasaka doon kasi mas madaling kumita kung magpa-recruit na lang sa private armies?). Siguro noong wala pa yung malaking gulo, patingin-tingin lang mula sa di-kalayuan ang mga karaniwang Maguindanaon kapag napapadaan sa mga mansyon na matitingkad ang kulay at magagarang sasakyan na hindi nawawala ang poise kahit dumaan sa lubak-lubak na kalsada. Bakit isa sa mga pinakamahihirap na probinsya ang Maguinadanao? Siguradong dismayado si Sultan Kudarat. Talo pa ng mga Ampatuan pagdating sa arsenal ang mga MILF, o. Mga armas, pagbibili pa ng armas... sa halip na mapunta ang pondo sa disenteng kabuhayan at edukayon ng mga taga-Maguindanao (reminds me of an episode from Biyaheng Totoo of 24 Oras). Ano bang drama doon? Sasabihin ng mga pulitiko sa mga nasasakupan na kung gusto nilang umasenso, magsariling-sikap sila at huwag iasa ang lahat sa gobyerno? Ano ba ang drama? Ang mga pinuno ang maglilingkod sa taumbayan o ang mga taumbayan pa ang dapat maglingkod sa mga pinuno? At may martial law na idineklara. Kabi-kabilang protesta at historic umano na joint session ng Kamara at Senado (nang wala ang Pangulo). Pero ang mga tagaroon sa Mindanao ay pinagsasabihan ang mga taga-Imperial Manila na huwag naman bigyan ng masamang kahulugan ang PP 1959 dahil hindi naman sila ang nakatira sa Maguindanao kaya wala silang nababatid sa tunay na sitwasyon doon. Bumagsak na ang mga Ampatuan, kalayaan na ba ito ng Maguindanao? At nakikinita ng madla ang imahe na ngayon ng burol na iyon sa bayan ng Ampatuan... nakabibinging katahimikan, nagsusumigaw para sa katarungan.

Still the fresh amihan breeze keeps on bringing glad tidings. CNN Hero of the Year, Efren Peñaflorida and his kariton classroom, remember? Masdan na lang ang Marikina at iba pang sinalanta noon nina Ondoy at Pepeng. Muling nagningning; kumukutikutitap, bumubusibusilak, masdan ang indak ng mga bumbilya... Christmas is unstoppable. Advent, Simbang Gabi, Bisperas... at ang Pasko. Christmas without the consumerism and commercialism; the Christmas lantern, amihan breeze, and the winter solstice reminds me so. A MEANINGFUL CHRISTMAS... WITH CHRIST...

HAVE A MERRY, HAPPY, BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! 2010 na nga pala next year.